Things I’ve learned from British folk ballads
This post on Making Light has been making the rounds and for good reason - it’s hysterical.
Exerpt…
Don’t ignore warnings. If someone tells you to beware of Long Lankin, friggin’ beware of him. If someone tells you not to go by Carterhaugh, stay away. Same goes for your mother asking you not to go out hunting on a particular day. Portents about weather, particularly when delivered by an old sailor who is not currently chatting up a country maid, are always worth heeding. If someone says that he’s planning to kill you, believe him. If someone says he’s going to die, believe him. Avoid navigable waterways. Don’t let yourself be talked into going down by the wild rippling water, the wan water, the salt sea shore, the strand, the lowlands low, the Burning Thames, and any area where the grass grows green on the banks of some pool. Cliffs overlooking navigable waterways aren’t safe either. Broom, as in the plant, should be given a wide berth. Stay away from the greenwood side, too. Avoid situations where the obvious rhyme-word is “maidenhead.”
Link - don’t skip the comments many are as funny as the original post.
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